I hate all girls vehemently.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
