yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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