Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
