I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't deserve a penis
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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