you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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