she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
