Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
