I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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