Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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