Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He? As in you personified your dick?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
