idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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