i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
