I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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