Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
