I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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