i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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