thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
