I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
