Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
