Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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