Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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