Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize