Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
