I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
