I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize