i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
