So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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