I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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