Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
