It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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