Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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