I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We need to rekindle our bromance
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
