glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
