the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize