at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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