Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
PANTIES FOUND
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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