Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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