He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
