she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Drake has all the answers
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
