He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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