I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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