i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
