We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
