I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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