Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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