She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
