i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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