i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
