Sponge bath it is.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
