I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
