She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
