like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
