i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
