It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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