How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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