Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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