Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
