Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
