Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We got so high we made milksteak
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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